Ten Things You Always Wanted to Know About Me But Were Afraid to Ask

When I was in junior college, I sang the tenor lead in the annual Christmas Messiah production. I sang “Every Valley” and “Comfort Ye.”

I have written almost thirty technical books, including a tips manual for Microsoft Word.

I’m a slow runner. For instance, My Last Girlfriend only had to chase me for a couple of weeks before she became My First Wife.

When I was in high school and college, I got straight As—in my journalism classes. Wanna read about my high school career? Believe me, it won't take long.

I love Mexico and Mexican people. I think that the US and Mexico should merge into one country. I dream that one day that ugly fence-wall between Mexico and the US will get ripped out. (Please.) No matter how much it cost or how long it takes, it’s cheaper and faster—and safer—than manipulating that war in Iraq.

My First Wife and I fly free on Delta Airlines—and sometimes in the first class section. Raise your kids to be airline pilots.

I wrote a full-length play that has been produced twice already and may be produced again before the year is up. I’ve written a better play (lots of loud banging) that hasn’t been produced at all. Go figure. The plays feature those Biblical characters, Hosea and Rahab.

I have eaten fresh-cooked rattlesnake meat. Other favorite foods include My First Wife’s fried chicken; ice cream, roasted lamb (Nnngghh! Love it!), pepperoni, spaghetti and meatballs, and any Mexican food item. I don’t eat pork.

I’m a born-again Christian. I vote on the right side, but leave my options open. I’m not anti-war, but I don’t understand why the US has troops in Iraq (tsk), and wish they could all come home.

I love kids. Jesus and I think kids are special.

I love humor and good jokes. I make up stories just for the fun of it. Some work; some don’t.

Have I got to 10 yet?