Dear Hoss,
You don't know me (or at least won't confess that you do), but while I was staggering around the Internet last night I happened to see your pile. Nice pile. Just sitting there. Waiting for you to claim it.
I saw it right here. Maybe one of your many friends will run over and tell you. Hope so.
No finder's fee is necessary. Just don't go around telling people that you know me or they might want me to find their pile, too.
Yours truly,
Hipwriter D. Lux
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