You're Invited—Please R.S.V.P.

When…when…I can afford to host an expensive Fantasy Dinner, these are the people I want to invite.

• Paul Himes Nichols and Wilbur Shaw, my two grandfathers who died before I was born.
• Paul Thomas Nichols, my oldest brother, who also died before I was born.
• Rahab of Jericho, history's most famous hooker, who is listed in the Bible's "Hall of Faith."
• David, the King of Israel. He lived about a thousand years before his great-something grandson, Jesus Christ. (David is the great-grandson of Rahab, by the way.)
• The first and the last Mayan Chiefs
• Barry Goldwater
• Quanah Parker and his mother, Cynthia Ann Parker
• Any American Pioneer Family that crossed the prairies
• Victor Borge
• Mother Teresa
• Chief Joseph
• Albert Einstein and Muhammad Ali

My Keynote Speaker is Joseph, the first person in the Bible who was called a Hebrew.

The menu will include caviar, roasted lamb, and chocolate—lots of chocolate. Baked Alaska for dessert. But that's not all, of course.

Entertainment: Riverdance? Hmmm, maybe the Alvin Ailey Dancers? Would The Muppets be a good act for such sophisticated people? I'm open to great suggestions.

Dinner Music by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Or Wolfgang Mozart. Or The Second Chapter of Acts. Wait a minute…what about ABBA? Yes, ABBA! Or there's the Academy of St. Martin's in the Field…

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. I can't even get my fantasies straight. The Brooklyn Tablernacle Choir?

It's a good thing I can't afford all this. Hmmm. Veggie Tales.