Thursday, May 25, 2006

Adventures With Krispy Kreme Donuts

Thursday Afternoon: What a great day for a baseball game!

The Home Team played at home today, in the throes of a 12-game losing streak. It was a beautiful day, a day made for the home team crowd. But...uh-oh! The Hottest Team in the American League was in town itching to complete a 4-game sweep. But we Mudville fans know clear skies and green outfields when we see them.

So we all took off from work today and went to the ballpark. Our boss treated! He couldn't have picked a more glorious day!

The first inning featured back to back to back home runs by The Home Team! These guys can hit! The Home Team – 6. The Hottest Team in the American League – 0.

In the third inning, The Hottest Team in the American League showed why. Three nasty runs! But a tall, pink-cheeked rookie pitcher made his major league debut this beautiful afternoon. He fearlessly faced down The Hottest Team in the American League for the next 4 innings. Suddenly, those visitors couldn't score with a road map. Meanwhile, The Home Team added a couple more homers. The Home Team – 8. The Hottest Team in the American League – 3. It was still a pretty day.

In fact, the Home Team was hitting so well, that suddenly the smell of Krispy Kreme Donuts came tantalizingly close. You see, whenever The Home Team gets 12 hits in one game, Krispy Kreme Donuts gives a dozen donuts to every ticket holder of that game. Of course, you gotta go get them, but…

“Doh-Nuts! Doh-Nuts! Doh-Nuts!” We chanted for two innings. Then thwack! That twelfth hit—a quick single to right field—lit up the Jumbotron with those luscious glazed donuts. “Free Donuts for everybody!” It's moments like this that make you appreciate "the roar of the crowd."

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That didn’t prevent The Dumbest Coaching Move in the History of Baseball. As soon as he got a chance, The Home Team Manager, Bubba Ding-dong pulled that tall, pink-cheeked rookie pitcher out of the game. Huh? The Kid left to a well-earned roaring ovation. What a great debut on a picture perfect baseball afternoon. He muffled The Hottest Team in the American League. His dad must be real proud of that kid!

Well then, Coach Ding-dong shuffled in The Six Stooges (veterans from the bullpen) and ordered them to let those visiting tigers hit to their hearts' content. And, believe me, they did! They hit all over the park—and out of it, too!

After eight innings the score was tied. The Home Team – 8. The Hottest Team in the American League – 8.

The Hottest Team in the American League scored five—count ‘em, 5—runs in the top of the ninth. They had scratched that itch. Now the Home Team is in the throes of a 13-game losing streak. Can they keep it going? Can the Manager come up with even more creative ways to lose?

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Friday morning: Those free Krispy Kreme Donuts aren't quite the prize I originally thought. They have a bittersweet taste. But thanks anyway, boss, it was a nice day "at the office."

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