Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Free Stuff—Just Come and Get it

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Craigslist, it’s that people buy and sell ugly stuff.”—our niece Renee.

My First Wife and I got into a laughing match the other day. We were looking at the free items posted on Craigslist. Well, it was so much fun, I had to pass some of this important rubble on to you. But from now on, you’ll have to do your own search. Trust me: it's fun.

I chose cities randomly—no order, no reason. My comments are in brackets. NOTE: the stuff listed is probably not available anymore. Except the horse manure.

Kansas City—
  • Free box of food
  • Man’s coat [It’s only a jacket.]
  • Regal rat food
  • Broken up concrete
  • Empty baby food jars [100s of them.]
  • Railroad ties
  • Free white dog bowl [Don’t call during her son’s concert]
  • Firewood free if you cut down the tree [That's what it says!]
Portland OR—
  • Free dog food for unemployed owner [Bring proof of unemployment.]
  • Free concrete pieces
  • Broken red bricks
  • Free chlorine bleach
  • Free pharmacy discount
  • Free haircut
  • Free dirt
  • Crocking Gun [I love this: there’s a picture of a caulking gun.]
  • Free 26 [It’s a TV.]

  • Big collection of climbing magazines
  • Free Rabbit supplies
  • Free womens haircuts
  • Free white Persian cat ***PLEASE HELP***
  • Free weird old dresser
  • Free rabbit
  • Horse Manure. [Posted several continuous days.]
  • Free stand thing. [Oh, the possibilities—especially without a picture.]
  • Torn Jeans.
  • Love Seat – covered with dog hair. [Lucky us: no cat hair balls.]
  • 17 plastic yogurt containers/lids–32 oz.
  • Leaves to a table [No table, though.]
  • Free Berber carpet remnants – clean, unused [They’re in the alley.]
  • Free Palm Trees.
  • Free manure.
  • Set of crutches.
  • Free Fresh Bread from Cuban Bakery. [Check this out, Ily.]
  • Guinea pigs / dog to good home.
Dallas/Ft. Worth
  • Sacked up leaves for composite. [Your homework: write the word “compost” 100 times!]
  • Box of jars.
  • Free wine bottles.
  • Free bees. [It also says, “Don’t leave a mess when you take them.”]

And now—on to "People of Walmart."

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Craigslist, it’s that people buy and sell ugly stuff.”—our niece Renee.


kenju said...

And I cannot imagine anyone wanting any of those things - especially broken concrete!! Maybe if they are using it for landfill....

srp said...

I am still wondering how you get free bees from one place to another. I have to admit that we got Nyssa's dining set and desk off of Craigslist. Never sold anything there though.
Got enough snow?????

Cliff said...

I'll bet the guy with the crocking gun worked at a chinese restaurant.

Cliff said...

I guess you also got hit with the storm. How are things down just south of the heart of America? We're snowed in until the wind subsides. Then it'll be hours of snow blowing ahead of us.

Lulú said...

Fresh Cuban bread on Craig's List?? Ay, mi'jo, I've seen it all! lol

Free bees...I like that one! These are hilarious!

Ralph said...

So where do I have to go to get those free plastic yogurt containers? Okay - never mind.

Joy Des Jardins said...

These are hysterical Paul. I wonder if there really are any 'takers' for this stuff. You never know...when the word "Free" is attached to it, people get a little crazy.

Cara said...

I'm embarrassed for my fellow Americans; well, not all of them! LOL

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