It's That Time of Year Again

It’s not often that I come up with an earth-shattering, life-changing idea, but I think I hit on something here that might change the way we live. Whaddaya think?

I propose that October 15 be designated as “National Fundraiser Day.” That’s the one day of the year that all fundraisers are held. We pay tax on April 15. Why not pay another one six months later?

Here’s the rules:

• All the money will be divided evenly among the ka-zillion non-profit groups that register for a fundraiser. It doesn’t matter if your fundraiser is a church group, a school, a team, a band, a lodge, a motorcycle gang, etc., etc. If the group is registered they get a piece of the pie.

• You’ll find the “catalog” in the Sunday newspaper the two Sundays before the 15th. Select your item(s) and send $100 to the FRS (Fundraisers-R-uS). Money orders only; no checks, please.

• You’ll receive $12 worth of whatever you ordered. Mix-and-Match, if you want. A calendar, a magazine, some nuts (the kind you eat), some candy, movie coupons, some wrapping paper and the trash bags to put it in; you pay for it all in one fell swoop; the shipper ships it all out; the groups get their money and it’s all over and done with in two weeks.

I think my idea is a good one. Advantages are too numerous to mention, but here’s a few.

• It doesn’t matter how many neighborhood kids there are, how many kids or grandkids you have—once you buy once, you’re done!

• Untold thousands of corporate dollars will be saved because people will spend their time working instead of passing catalogs around the office, taking orders, collecting money, delivering orders…for four months.

• Kids won’t leave their orders and your money on the school bus.

• The school, team, group will get all its fundraising money in one lump sum and can spend it all that much sooner.

• I won’t be embarrassed going to work without my money. I won’t feel dumb when I cajole my good friends at work to give me their money for some cheesy cookbook or a cheap Christmas tree ornament.

• Your child won't be out after dark knocking on strangers' doors—and you won't be standing out on the sidewalk watching.
  

• Best of all, I won’t feel guilty for absolutely ignoring the doorbell when an innocent little Girl Scout is standing out there in the cold.

As much as I like kids and as much as I believe in wholesome youth activities, I have to draw the line somewhere, which this year is already closing in on $300.00.