Adventures in Grace and Clarity

I read a lot of blogs, and I'm drawn to those that feature the word write. Or writing. There are a lot of us wannabe writers blogging our hearts out out there.

There is plenty to read, but I give up easily when writers don't care enough about their work to give me some good textual craftsmanship. (Singers practice and listen to their tapes. Actors rehearse and watch their videos.)

I'm going to complain now, not about bloggers in general, but about bloggers who claim they're writers, yet whose work is awash with…with…well, ungood writing.

Spelling: I'm astonished at the poor spelling that “writers” leave strewn all over the Internet. There's no urgency to post a blog, so why not take a few minutes to proofread for possible spelling errors? Correct spelling shows courtesy and respect toward readers. The Golden Rule applies when we're writing, too.

Word selection: Correct words are just as important as correct spelling. What's the difference between their and there and they're? Was it past or passed? Is it it's or its? Is it alright, or should I only use all right? Is this post entitled or titled?

Grammar: I'm not sticklish about grammar. English is kaleidoscopic enough to make the point even when the grammar wobbles. Most of us don't talk with perfect grammar (including evening newscasters), so as long as our readers understand our work without having to stop and reread it, I think we're okay. (That spinning noise you hear is my mother turning over in her grave.) Anyway, I like sentences that vibrate when they're read. I like sentences with personalities. I like sentences that strut. Perfect grammar isn't something necessary.

Show Me; Don't Tell Me: Practice this and you'll advance from a writer to a good writer. Honest. As soon as you finish an article, go back and rip out "could," "would" and "should." Get rid of them. Rewrite the sentences.

• Bad example: "When I was a boy, we would ride our bikes as close to the train as we could get. It was very tiring and we should have known better because it was very dangerous and we could have gotten in trouble if our parents would have found out." (Yeah, yeah, yeah).

• Example rewritten: "The summer I was twelve, we often mounted our bikes and "raced" the train. We knew the danger, and we knew that trouble awaited if our parents saw us, but we pedaled as close as we dared until we were too exhausted to keep up."

Dancing with Words:* Make your sentences dance. Use active, Riverdance verbs that rock the pages right out of our hands.

One very rotten adverb spoils the whole barrel. This is very important. Charge yourself a nickel for every adverb. Don't be surprised if, before long, you find yourself in fine and fancy restaurants. (Oh-oh. I think I owe myself a nickel.)

Kindly abstain. If it ends in "ly," you probably don't need it.

"What did she say?" he asked. "Punctuation almost always goes inside quotation marks," she replied.

Yeah, but… It's okay to begin a sentence with "And," "But" or "Or." And if anybody says anything to you about that, tell 'em to see me. Or show ‘em this blog.

Whew! Bad spelling, bad grammar, incorrect words and lazy verbs will not—I repeat, will not—keep you out of heaven; and neither will those long “run-on sentences,” but if you want to keep your favorite readers, then keep your sentences short and to the point, broken up with plenty of periods and other punctuation marks. I guess.

* Dancing with Words sounds like a great blog title, doesn't it?