When I’m king of the world, I’m gonna issue these decrees my first day on the job.
- No more potholes or school fund raisers.
- Guns are gone. Completely gone!
- Blogger.com and Haloscan get straightened out.
- Young men’s pants will be worn above the hip bones. Young lady's, too.
- I’ll have
Hollywoodmoved exactly half way between LA and . Honolulu
- TV newscasts are limited to three minutes—one for news, one for sports and one for weather.
- I'll ban medicine commercials from TV and magazines. (Side effects may include less stress, fewer headaches, lower co-pay fees, fewer trees killed, indoor noise reduction, guilt-free public farting, and you won’t have to ask your doctor.)
- Super Bowl numbers are changed to Arabic numbers. Super Bowl 50; not Super Bowl L. Same with the Olympics—except when they’re played in
- Pancake Flats gets on a map.
- Everybody gets a cool hat.
Vote for me!