Presbyterians: None. The lights go on and off at predestined times.
Lutherans: Also none. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Charismatic: Only One. Hands are already in the air.
Roman Catholic: None, too. Candles only.
Baptists: Minimum of 16.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and appoint who brings the fried chicken and potato salad.
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to explain how much better the old one was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb—and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Nazarene: Six. Five men to review church lighting policy while one woman goes ahead and replaces the bulb.
“Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, a tulip bulb or a turnip bulb. Bring the bulb of your choice to our Sunday lighting service—and a covered dish to share afterward.”
“We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for our next service, when we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life, tinted—and the new, modern energy-saving bulb—all of which can be equally valid paths to luminescence.”
Amish: What's a light bulb?