Monday, April 25, 2005

Once in a Lifetime

One of our credit card bills arrived recently, just a day after I mailed off the full payment for it. Hoo, boy, did they stick the late fees to me. Well, smart as I am, I didn’t panic. My plan was to call Customer Service and start a small war. I waited a few days till my check cleared.

Tonight I sat down at my desk and called the customer service department. Let’s just skip over all the numbers I had to press to Speak English, Speak To A Customer Service Representative and so forth. You’ve been there. You know what I’m talking about. While all that technology was slowing me down, I organized my bill, account number, purchase dates, cleared check number and date—hey, I was armed and aiming at the heart.

Finally, Tanya came on the line and cheerfully went through all the same requests for information—verbally, this time. Ho-hum: here we go again. You know what I'm talking about here, too.

She finally asked me the big question, and following is our conversation.

Tanya: “Now, how can I help you, Mr. Nichols?”

Me: “Zero out my account, please,” I demanded arrogantly. "That'll get her attention," I thought to myself.

Tanya: “Mr. Nichols, please hold just a moment.”

[Click] The phone went dead. I figured three minutes at the earliest. You know what I’m talking about. I sipped some water so my throat could withstand the shouting match I was about to launch. But …

Fifteen seconds later. [Click back]

Tanya: “Okay, Mr. Nichols. I zeroed out your account. Is there anything else I can do for you this evening?”

Me: ??

Tanya: “Mr. Nichols? Hello?”

Me: “W-w-well, Tanya, th-th-that’s the sweetest news I’ve heard in a long time. Th-th-thank you very much and God bless you.” I pinched my other earlobe with a staple puller just to make sure I was awake.

Tanya: (Giggle) “Thank you. I accept that and I’m glad I could make your night.”

Me: “Y-y-you didn’t even ask for an explanation.”

Tanya: “You’re all set, Mr. Nichols. Have a nice night. (Giggle)”

How could I have a nice night with blood spurting out my earlobe? You probably don't know what I'm talking about.

“A gentle answer turns away anger...” Proverbs 15:1


Cara said...

That is certainly a "once in a lifetime" event. I wish my credit card companies would be so kind after I close down my accounts. Hope your ear feels congrats on paying off that credit card!

WordWhiz said...

I love it!! Great story!