Monday, April 17, 2006

Adventures of a Strange Kind

Saur recently posted a strange meme. She listed six strange things about herself and invited her readers to tag themselves and do the same thing. I'd tag somebody, but all the bloggers I know are already pretty strange (in a strange and special kind of way). Do something strange—tag yourself, then let me and Saur know. Below is a list of six strange things about me.

Adventures in Plan B

I was 16 years old. I was standing on a Phoenix sidewalk. I had to get home to Douglas—250 miles across the desert. I was supposed to take the train, but I only had 81 cents. What to do? Well, I hitchhiked for the first time in my life. It took 19 hours; from 5 p.m. Sunday till about noon the next day—and eight different rides. When I got home I still had one penny. The other 80 cents I spent on junk food. My last ride was with the county deputy sheriff. I thought he was going to take me to jail, but he kindly took me to my front sidewalk just as Dad came out the house. Dad was about to go to the train depot to pick me up. I went in the house, explained things to Dad over a hearty sandwich, then slept till dinner time.

Adventures with Bees

I have never been stung by a bee. Dad was a beekeeper. We always kept bees in Our Back Yard, and at one time had one of the largest apiaries in Arizona. I have been inside many a beehive. Bees are my friends. They know me. They like me. They don't bother me. As a matter of fact, I talk with bees. I have been among hundreds of bees countless times. Well…one evening I was stung 23 times at once. My dad later told me, "That was the meanest swarm of bees I ever saw! You should have opened a different hive." I think they were illegal alien bees—down from Canada to stir up trouble.

Adventures with a B

"You know, Paul, if you'd just turn in your work on time, you'd get a decent grade in this class," said Mrs. Hall, my 12th grade English teacher. My report card showed a B in English. "I had to mark you down because you never turned anything in on time." I liked Mrs. Hall.

Adventures with The Three Beas

In my life, I have known three women whose names are Bea.

Adventures with BBs

Yes, I owned and operated an official Red Ryder carbine action BB gun, and everybody in the neighborhood lived to tell about it. It was a beauty. I wish I had it now. I never shot anybody's eye out, kids, but I sure killed a lot of old cans and bottles.

Adventures with Vitamin B

I recently realized that there are eight vitamin Bs. B1—thiamine, B2—riboflavin, B3—niacin, B6—pyridoxine, B9—folic acid, B12—cyanocobalamin, pantothenic acid and biotin. Is there a prejudice toward pantothenic acid and biotin? Why don't they have numbers? Isn't that politically incorrect.? Is this another vast left wing conspiracy to deny us our numbers? And whatever happened to Vitamins B4, B5, B7, B8, B10, and B11? Isn't there an advocacy group that defends missing numbers? If Mrs. Hall finds out about this, that Vitamin B list is only going to get a B.

This be strange enough for you, Saur?