What a week here in Pancake Flats. Here’s a quick recap.
First, our calendar broke. It says April, but the weather outside says January. Easter had record low temps around here. I think it was ten degrees below the actual temperature. Brrr! We had blinding, driven, wet snow for four hours Friday night. Lucky me, I got to drive in it for more than an hour—in the dark, thank you. Home safely, thank you again.
Second, Our Oldest Daughter's nasty headache returned. Aw, shucks! She been ordered to drink caffeine, and lots of it, and lay in bed for the weekend. What a job! But if that doesn’t do the trick, then her Brilliant Neurosurgeon will do that tricky medical procedure again. (Caffeine and bed rest in the same sentence?)
Third, I went to see my dermatologist on Tuesday. She looks like Barbie. Really. Honest. She’s a stunner! I always look forward to seeing my dermatologist. Lucky for all the sick little kids, she worked at the children’s hospital that day. I got to see an ugly ol’ troll, who comforted me with, “Dr. Krsmnfsmgj said to tell you she’s sorry she didn’t get to see you today.” Did the ugly ol’ troll turn its head and cackle?
Fourth, without warning, my boss gave me a raise. Cool, huh? I’ve only worked there for seven months. I was surprised! He said it’s because I are so good at prufreading and grammar. Or something like that.
Finally, My First Wife and I get to have three of our grandkids for the weekend. Fun for us. Fun for them? I’d take them to the park or the swimming pool or something outdoorsy, but like I said earlier, our calendar is broken.
Breaking news! My three-year-old granddaughter just told me that Santa Claus lives at the North Mall. (She might be right...)