Weather News Department

It was a dark and stormy night. This part of Kansas saw more than 2-1/2 inches of rain between 7:00 and 10:30 last night. Then just after midnight this morning, about the same amount until 1:00 am. Lightning! Noise! Black clouds! Wind! It was a dark and stormy night!

And a fire that’s still burning in Kansas City, KS. About 7:00 Tuesday evening, a bolt of lightning set a gasoline storage tank on fire. No matter where you live, you may have seen a snippet of this event on your late night news channel. Here, The Big City TV stations hardly mentioned those political candidates because of the weather and this horrific fire. Apparently more than 2 millions gallons of unleaded gasoline were lost. The heat of the fire was so hot, that the sides of the storage tank melted!

No fire- or weather-related injuries were reported. Praise the Lord.

That long black cloud is not a long black cloud. It's smoke from the fire.

Photos are from MyFox TV, Channel 4, KCMO.

Dreams Department

I had a two dreams last night. One was weird.

But first this breaking news: David Cook won this year's edition of American Idol. He's the toast of the town here in this necka the woods right now. The Big City radio and TV stations are proudly showing him off. And WFTH is extending congratulations to the boy, too.







Now back to your regular programing...

In my first dream, I saw this beauty winning the whole shebang. Believe me, I was dreaming as hard as I could, but she finished as second runner up. I'm still dreaming.






Then I dreamed I saw Simon Cowell singing all the way to the bank. His song was "Is This a Great Country or What?".

Public Service Announcement

In the interest of public curiosity, WFTH, the only amber wave of grain station on the Internet...well, are you wondering about that "economic stimulus" refund? When are you going to get it? Nothing to it, folks; just click here to find out—almost to the day—when your stimulating check will get mailed.

If you haven't filed your regular April 15 taxes, don't waste your time looking. You gotta file before they send your refund.

And be careful out there. There are a multitude of scams just waiting to take your stimulating money. Don't waste your time on them, either. If you want to know what these scams are, just send us $99.95 and we'll send you our book...

Stayed tune for further Public Service stuff.

Joy in the Morning Department

WFTH, the only all-wheat station on the Internet, has discovered some competition here suddenly. It’s Pandora, a free Internet radio station. Those folks know how to run a station, I tell you. "It’s a new kind of radio—stations that play only the music you like." That’s what they say and…well, we’re listening to it from morning till night.

Sign up, sign in, sit back and sing along. It’s that easy. Here in Pancake Flats we play it from early morning till late night, listening only to music we like to hear. No commercials, no news, no jabber-banter, no cussin’—and best of all, no politics. And, once again, it’s free! For your favorite kinda music, we recommend Pandora.

What we like best about Pandora is that you can listen to your choice of music over there and still come back over here to WFTH and enjoy our brand of broadcasting at the same time.

(Seven prepositional phrases in one sentence might be a record for me. You heard it hear first, folks.)

Awards Department

Folks, we gotta interrupt everything with this breaking news.

Old Horsetail Snake (aka Hoss) patted me on the back with this award a few days ago. He said I could have it cuz I posted this. (You remember: the one about the light bulbs.)



Hoss is most always good for a hearty laugh, but I'd rate his blog as PG-13-21-35-50-60 and -65. I've been reading his blog since early '04. The two things I learnt about him are this: Hoss has been through a whole buncha personal hard stuff since '04, and Hoss has a big-ol', pure-gold heart.

One other thing: if he lived here in Pancake Flats, they'd make him mayor cuz he believes in fun. So go visit him and see for yourself. Have fun.

And if'n you're listening in, Mr. Hoss, all us folks here at WFTH say, "Thanks."

Vital Statistics Department--New Arrivals

Folks, just want to let you know that Mr. and Mrs. G had quadruplets yesterday morning.


Mother and little ones are doing just fine.


Proud Papa


First there was an eating lesson...


Then there was a preening lesson. "Hey, pay attention!"


And finally the swimming lesson!
"This is fun!"
"Yeah, I could do this all day!"
"Me, too!"
"Yee-haw!"


"You're doing great, kids!"


Ah...the family that swims together, stays together.

Stay tuned.

Breaking News Department

On Friday the 14 last month, the boss called 12 of us in to an urgent meeting. He’d just been informed by the Department of Agriculture that our contract had been suspended, cut and canceled because of a lack of tax dollars funding. Our last day would be Monday, December 31.

He was livid. He was livid because he likes all of us so much. "You all are the cream of the crop. And you've proven that with your great work..." The timing was terrible; just 10 days before Christmas and two weeks before the end of the year. What the…? Also, he was informed just a few hours before his own vacation began and he was off to Ireland. He told us we were welcome to look for other work and use the office computer, phone and FAX.

“When you get over the middle of the Atlantic,” I said, “throw your Blackberry out the window.” It was the only bit of levity we could muster. We had two weeks to wrap up our work and wait for our pink slips. So we spent our time feverishly munching on Christmas fudge.

My First Wife and I asked many friends and relatives to pray for our situation. We prayed, too.

The boss, one of the best I’ve ever seen, made it back to work on Monday and dutifully went about meeting with everyone who was fired laid off. We all shook hands and packed up our stuff.

Funny, but he never called me. When he left Monday evening, he walked right past my cube saying, “Good night, Nichols. Have a Happy New Year. See ya Wednesday”

“You will?” I wondered silently.

This morning, Wednesday, I walked straight to his office and asked, “Are you planning to meet with me today?”

“No.”

I paused, unsure of what to say next. Then I cautiously asked, “Have I somehow dodged a bullet?”

He nodded.

“I..I'm...I'm still a va...va...valuable employee here?” He nodded again. “That’s a praise!” I said.

It's quiet, cold and lonely in the office.

I don’t understand why the Lord was so kind as to let me alone keep my job, while 11 of my friends and team members were laid off. Maybe someday somebody will explain it to me, but for now I can only thank Him.

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you; plans to give you hope and a future.”—Jeremiah 29:11